May 2010
December 2009
- Sweet P Rebel Headquarters
June 2009
- Comment The power of wind power.
December 2008
- Sweet P 37 Hours in Providence.
Josh Wood, Art Director
Remember roller derby? It was the 70s. Coed teams on banked tracks. Tiny shorts… on both sexes. It was always the LA T-Birds against the Bay City Bombers on filler TV. We watched from the comfort of the avocado-green shag wall-to-wall on Saturday mornings sometime after “Run Joe Run,” the show about the fugitive German Shepherd. With its exaggerated choreography, the derby I remember was like WWE on wheels. Today’s roller derby really isn’t anything like that. It’s a flat track. It’s all women. And it’s real. Yes, it’s a spectacle, with stage names, theatrics, makeshift uniforms and punk rock. But underneath the camp is a fierce contact sport. The skill is real. The contusions are real. The cement burns are real.
Jenny, a tall, thin, interior designer from Providence, is an aspiring derby girl hoping to crack a roster on a Providence Roller Derby team. Providence Roller Derby became New England’s first Flat-Track league in 2005, and has since helped to spawn leagues in Boston and Connecticut. From my conversations with her, it’s apparent that being a derby girl isn’t just a matter assembling your best motorcycle burlesque and lacing up. It’s a huge commitment – like joining a cult. The grassroots, DIY aspect of the league means that much of your free time gets channeled into fundraising, from carwashes at Javaspeed Scooters to Tuesday Night “Pants-Off Karaoke” at Jerky’s. Not to mention the hours of practice. Jenny is in the process of qualifying for a team, by passing standard assessments of basic, and not-so-basic, skating skills.
JOSH: How many hours a week have you been practicing with the league?
JENNY: During the cold weather, when we were indoors, I was just going once a week – so it was a two-hour practice. And then since we’ve been outside and the weather’s been nice it’s been twice a week – for two hours each time… during the winter I was doing I don’t know – 2-3 extra hours at one of the open skates.
Do you spend a lot of time – socially – with your team mates?
I haven’t done a lot of that…but we’re required to do 5 hours a month of some kind of fund-raising activity or just work on the side, which actually isn’t too much to ask…
When you first joined, did you know how much of a commitment it was going to be?
I had no idea. I just stumbled into it – so it’s all been a surprise.
How did it happen?
Well, I decided I wanted to roller skate, and I went to an open skate in East Providence at United Skates of America – and… you want the whole story? [laughs].
Yeah. So they approached you – gave you some pamphlets, offered you some refreshments, and took you away in a van? Is that how it works?
[laughs]. Kind of. These two girls were kind of dressed in black and one had tattoos – they were new to it – but they came up to me and said “Hey, you have hot-pink laces on your skates” and you skate really well – are you in the roller derby? And it turned out that they had practice the next day, so I drove with one of them…
All because of pink shoelaces…it does seem like there’s some sort of costume thing going on – I don’t know how to describe it – kind of motorcycle…
A little bit of motorcycle…a little bit of thrift store…there’s different aesthetics.
There’s sort of a burlesque thing, too. Sometimes there’s a little bit of underwear, short skirts…
Short skirts, short shorts…
So have you actually thought about your look for the league? Actually I guess you adapt your team uniform?
There’s a uniform, yeah, which usually ends up being some sort of short skirt – I try not to think about it too much at this point – I feel like when I have my name, maybe I’ll have some kind of theme – but – as for now, I’m just like in exercise clothes.
Now what do you mean ‘when you have your name?’ When I look over the rosters it’s got names on it like Maim West, Anna Wrecks ‘Ya, Iron Maidenform, Shirley Trample, etc. so this is what you’re talking about – your ‘derby’ name?
Yep – that’s when you pass your second assessment. So right now I passed my first assessment which involves very basic skills – and then the second assessment you have to prove that you can give a hit and take a hit – and couple other things like a double-toe stop – I’m not sure if that’s quite the right way to describe it – more going up on your toes – it involves way more balance.
I caught a bout earlier and it looks like there are some pretty tough skaters – one skater in particular from the Hell Mary’s was like a fridge – is there anyone out there in particular who’s sort of intimidating?
Yeah, Burnin’ Hellin – she’s really big-boned and tall – and I’ve heard that she gives really hard hits, which is not the kind of thing you want to hear…
Has anyone really leveled you so far?
Yeah, I’ve been flattened by all kinds of people, so at this point a small person could take me out. [laughs].
Do you have any floor burns or scars or wounds to show as of yet?
I have a couple bruises, but right now, no – I just scraped my finger last practice – which was kind of bloody but… surface wound.
Have you actually leveled anybody in practice?
That’s a good question, I don’t think I have. I really don’t think I have yet [laughs].
You’ve got to get some revenge!
Yeah – last practice I was actually giving harder hits, but I was having a one-on-one with Dolly Rocket, who’s a head coach, and she just doesn’t budge. She’s like a small wall.
What does your family think of all this?
They think it’s great. It’s funny… My brothers – kind of laughed nervously. My mom thinks it’s great – of course she’s from Austin, where the first team came from.
I see there are three teams in the league right now. There’s the River Rats, the Mob Squad and the Old Money Honeys. Do you get to choose which team you’re put on, once you pass your assessments?
No, you’re assessed by the coaches of each team – so they’re kind of keeping an eye on you during practice to see what your skills are, and they have certain skills they’re looking to fill on their team, so you’re kind of filling in gaps where it’s needed.
So you’re sort of like drafted.
Yeah, you’re drafted – exactly.
When do you think you’ll be able to pass your second assessment?
I give myself another two months – which means I wouldn’t be playing this season at all. Which is fine with me – I think I’m just getting used to it – seeing what it’s all about.
So it looks like in 2008 you’ll be ready and qualified for some sort of team action…
Yep.
That’s awesome. Do you have any hints as far as what your derby name might be? Or do you want to keep it secret for now?
I want to keep it secret. I don’t want to give away my good ideas.
Well thanks. We’ll check back in with you – to see how you’re doing – and hopefully we’ll see you on the flat track soon.
All right!
Last Call for The Decatur Lounge
This west-side watering hole has closed their doors for good…You will be missed.
R.I.P. Decatur Lounge.
